As September approaches, it often reminds us that a new school year is approaching. Grandkids have done their back-to-school shopping, and the city has filled up with everyone returning from summer vacations and other adventures. It’s also a natural time of year for thoughts of past friendships to surface. Sometimes that brings memories of feeling nervous about making friends.
The reality is that making friends can feel intimidating at any stage of life, not just in middle school or when starting a new job. If you or a loved one have considered moving or have recently moved to a senior living community, that can mean leaving behind familiar routines and neighbors. At times like this, it can help to remember that meaningful friendships often begin with small, everyday interactions. Fortunately, this is a strength of community living: there are many opportunities to build relationships over time.
Friendship Often Starts with Shared Routines
Relationships begin with familiarity before they become close. When you see someone regularly at breakfast, you’re more likely to engage with them. People in the same weekly fitness or hobby classes often share small talk, which leads to more meaningful visits down the road. Even neighbors passing in the hallway will eventually talk. Senior living communities are filled with opportunities:
- Riding the elevator together
- Sharing a table at lunch or dinner
- Working on a puzzle in a common area
- Waiting for an activity or event to begin
- Joining a resident committee or helping plan an event
- Chatting before or after a religious service or Bible study
- Browsing the library or exchanging book recommendations
Friendships aren’t usually built in one big moment, but they are through many smaller ones.
Curiosity Is More Important Than Confidence
One of the big myths about making friends is that you have to be extroverted and outgoing. It can help, but it’s not the only way. One of the best ways around this is to focus on asking questions rather than trying to impress people. Put another way, “be interested, rather than interesting.” Not sure what to ask about? Try asking about hobbies, books, movies, or travel. Grandchildren can be a good topic, or life most recently before living in a community. Everyone, including you, has a lifetime of stories and experiences to share. Most people just need a curious audience to get them warmed up.
Shared Activities Create Shared Memories
Activities give people something to do together and something to talk about afterward. Whether it’s laughing over a missed trivia answer or comparing paintings after an art class, shared experiences are fun and can build a bond. These interactions often become inside jokes, familiar stories, and reasons to look forward to seeing each other again. Many times, the activity itself isn’t even the point. Friendships often grow one experience at a time.
Good Friendships Don’t Have to Be Large Friend Groups
Another common myth about friendships is that they require a large group. There are many different types of friendships and ways to interact, and each can be meaningful in its own way. Consider the neighbor you check in with each morning, or a friend you enjoy walking with. Perhaps you have a lunch or dinner buddy, but someone else who acts as a close confidant. All of these connections are unique, and develop at different speeds. It can help to remember to stay patient and that the quality of a relationship or two can matter more than quantity.
Community Makes Connection Easier
Senior living communities are thoughtfully designed. They have comfortable gathering spaces, regularly scheduled events and activities, and dining experiences that are easy to share. Staff at many communities work to introduce residents so that meeting people is a little easier. Life in a community removes many barriers to staying socially connected, particularly as we age.
Some of Life’s Best Friendships Can Begin Later Than Expected
Meaningful relationships can begin at any age, and in many ways. If you’ve recently moved to a senior living community, try to avoid putting pressure on yourself to make friends right away. Try also to be present. A smile, a shared meal, or a simple conversation is often how lasting relationships begin. Curious what this looks like in real life? Consider stopping in at Compass Park for an event, a meal, or a simple conversation.
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